Reasons to quit your job:

Personal Financial Growth

You are underpaid from the moment they start your first job. The reason for this is because an updated resume would show your most recent work experience, increasing your value in the marketplace. With very few exceptions, the normal career path is one of uninterrupted salary growth, with the highest increases occurring shortly after being hired at a new job (at the end of the career). Think of Quit Your Job Day as accelerating the normal darwinistic cycle of salary fitness for your personal career genus.

The Economy

It's no secret that our economy is in dire straits. Not since The Great Depression have we heard such upbeat predictions from our national leaders, a sure sign that we are headed in the wrong direction. You may be asking yourself "But what can one person do?" The answer is simple: quit your job. In market economics there are two driving forces. These are supply and demand. If there was a coordinated mass termination, there would be an immediate effect on the employment marketplace. Employers, lacking a substantial measure of their workforce, would be forced to pay higher wages to attract employees. Think of it as ad-hoc collective bargaining in a non-deterministic free market. Or just think about how screwed your boss would be if everyone quit at once. In short, everyone who participates is likely to get a raise.

For the Children

Every year children are born in alarming numbers. Without the "Young Upwardly-Mobile Persons" (Yuppies) creating a necessary vacuum in the lower level jobs, hundreds, if not thousands, of children might be born without the hope of an entry level job upon graduation. Clearly the effects of Quit Your Job Day would help millions of children achieve their pre-natal goals of a rewarding career.

Defectors get the Shaft (this means you)

Quit your job. Everybody's doing it. Well, everyone except you. Imagine, for a moment, that Quit Your Job Day has arrived. The vast majority of your coworkers, being intelligent, emancipated, self-directed individualist quit en-masse. Your boss, desperate to maintain his middle management status, will pile an ungodly workload upon the remaining staff members (this means you). You, being the brightest of those who remained might even receive a ceremonial title such as "office manager" or "head barrista", but much like a field promotion to "Captain" in The Charge of the Light Brigade, it will prove nothing more than a harbinger of doom. Soon new people will be hired. Their higher salaries will only aggravate you and in time your small stack of Employee of the Month awards will seem pale comfort for the days and weeks of extra work you were forced to undertake for no real compensation. We think you should simply quit your job with the rest of us.